Thursday, June 7, 2012
Some Nights
Been obsessed with this song for a while now, since a dear friend of mine got me hooked :)
I saw the video for the first time tonight and personally, I enjoyed it.
Some nights I go running. This is a recent development in my life. After a nearly five year hiatus from running for sport vs. necessity, I've gotten into the habit of donning my neon and spandex and hitting the pavement late at night.
Some nights I just want to be left alone.
Some nights my arm disappears. Lately I've frequently fallen asleep lying in various positions and later woken up, arm asleep in rubbery submission to the miscommunication between limb and brain.
Some nights I leave my space heater on too long and then it's too hot to fall asleep. (Yes i'm aware of how stupid it is to use a space heater in June in Utah.)
Some nights I don't want to take my makeup off because it's too pretty and not enough people have seen it yet.
Some nights I think I'm pathetic.
Some nights I play 4-square.
Some nights I think I'm too picky. And then my conscience beats that little voice back into submission.
That's all for tonight....I'll be back some other night. XO
Thursday, May 24, 2012
The coach's life for me
Being graduated from college has introduced me to an entirely new and somewhat detrimental lifestyle.
Within the last three weeks I have adopted a new evil sleeping pattern; stay awake uselessly until the wee hours of the morn, sleep until noon (sometimes 1 p.m.) because I can't think of any reason to get up, rinse, repeat.
Last night my futile attempts to force my body clock back into submission left me wide awake - lying in the pitch black of my basement bedroom for over an hour and a half. Aside from the residual feeling of annoyance due to my inability to sleep, I spent much of that time thinking about a handful of the most influential people in my life and writing fake letters to them in my head.
Maybe if I ever get organized, or some proper manners, I'll write these letters up one day and send them out. Actually I did send a couple, so perhaps there's hope for me to emerge into society as an adult after all.
In no particular order: the list.
RoTo, aka Rowlad Tolbert - My high school track and field coach. RoTo always encouraged me to push myself to meet my potential. This man is one of the outstanding contributors to my confidence as a teenager and managed to help me glimpse the greatness I could achieve. There was never any doubt in my mind that RoTo cared about me and wanted me to succeed. Unfortunately I faked an injury at the beginning of my senior year and quit - one of the only regrets of my life and something I'll probably never get over.
Suzan Lake - High school english teacher. I was able to have a special bond with Suzan because my mom served in the stake young women's presidency with her; so I got spend time with her in my dining room late at night, at church and even in the lake at girls' camp. Wise beyond her years, Suzan equipped me with two of my most valuable assets: my ability to think critically and write exceptionally. Within the safety of Suzan's classroom and with the help of her honesty and understanding, I questioned, cried, ranted, un-masked and found myself.
Kathryn Culbertson - Piano teacher. This woman is probably one of the most beautiful, happy, spirited and passionate people I have ever met. She is incredibly genuine. Whether she is sticking her nose deep into the pages of a new book, or tasting freshly made baklava, or seeing an old friend after a long absence, her mannerisms are positively vibrant and energetic. Kathryn's example has taught me how important passion is in life and how far-reaching its results can be.
Yolanda Bates - Head coach/BOSS. Yolanda is one of the most driven women I have ever met. She works ceaselessly to achieve whatever challenge lies ahead of her and will go WAY out of her way to accomodate additional responsibilities. Yolanda has showed me that putting in too much time and too much effort is worth making someone else happy. Observing her as a coach has taught me how to work hard and have fun at the same time.
Mark Gray - High school swim coach. I remember as a freshman in high school Mark was an assistant coach. I'm not really sure what athletic value he saw in the creepily skinny 14 year old version of myself, but he would always give me a little extra encouragement or stroke technique. As I grew older I got cranky and lazy but Mark always pushed me at practices and held me accountable for my efforts. Mark had high expectations for me and taught me to accept only the best from myself. By the time I graduated I'm sure he was sick of my antics, flirtiness and drama, but even still, he allowed me to return to the pool and coach for him. Ultimately, I owe my entire coaching career to Mark because of the things he has taught me and his belief in my abilities.
To me, this list presents an interesting trend.
All of these people have been a teacher or coach of mine, and almost none of the qualities I mentioned have anything to do with the particular sport or skill they were "hired" to teach me.
I think this is the reason I'm so emotionally attached to my job as a coach.
Aside from my parents (to whom I could address an entire blog post) these people are the ones that have helped me grow and discover myself. They have consoled me in times of sadness, offered scarily honest advice, pushed me harder than I would have ever pushed myself, seen the best in me, reprimanded me, accepted my worst qualities, and BELIEVED in my potential.
I would be a fool not to recognize these individuals' contributions to my deep desire to affect the kids I coach now like they have affected me. It makes a difference for a child to know that somebody believes in them. It makes a difference when you show genuine care and concern. It makes a difference to listen with love. I owe it to those who have taught me, I want to be that difference.
Within the last three weeks I have adopted a new evil sleeping pattern; stay awake uselessly until the wee hours of the morn, sleep until noon (sometimes 1 p.m.) because I can't think of any reason to get up, rinse, repeat.
Last night my futile attempts to force my body clock back into submission left me wide awake - lying in the pitch black of my basement bedroom for over an hour and a half. Aside from the residual feeling of annoyance due to my inability to sleep, I spent much of that time thinking about a handful of the most influential people in my life and writing fake letters to them in my head.
Maybe if I ever get organized, or some proper manners, I'll write these letters up one day and send them out. Actually I did send a couple, so perhaps there's hope for me to emerge into society as an adult after all.
In no particular order: the list.
RoTo, aka Rowlad Tolbert - My high school track and field coach. RoTo always encouraged me to push myself to meet my potential. This man is one of the outstanding contributors to my confidence as a teenager and managed to help me glimpse the greatness I could achieve. There was never any doubt in my mind that RoTo cared about me and wanted me to succeed. Unfortunately I faked an injury at the beginning of my senior year and quit - one of the only regrets of my life and something I'll probably never get over.
Suzan Lake - High school english teacher. I was able to have a special bond with Suzan because my mom served in the stake young women's presidency with her; so I got spend time with her in my dining room late at night, at church and even in the lake at girls' camp. Wise beyond her years, Suzan equipped me with two of my most valuable assets: my ability to think critically and write exceptionally. Within the safety of Suzan's classroom and with the help of her honesty and understanding, I questioned, cried, ranted, un-masked and found myself.
Kathryn Culbertson - Piano teacher. This woman is probably one of the most beautiful, happy, spirited and passionate people I have ever met. She is incredibly genuine. Whether she is sticking her nose deep into the pages of a new book, or tasting freshly made baklava, or seeing an old friend after a long absence, her mannerisms are positively vibrant and energetic. Kathryn's example has taught me how important passion is in life and how far-reaching its results can be.
Yolanda Bates - Head coach/BOSS. Yolanda is one of the most driven women I have ever met. She works ceaselessly to achieve whatever challenge lies ahead of her and will go WAY out of her way to accomodate additional responsibilities. Yolanda has showed me that putting in too much time and too much effort is worth making someone else happy. Observing her as a coach has taught me how to work hard and have fun at the same time.
Mark Gray - High school swim coach. I remember as a freshman in high school Mark was an assistant coach. I'm not really sure what athletic value he saw in the creepily skinny 14 year old version of myself, but he would always give me a little extra encouragement or stroke technique. As I grew older I got cranky and lazy but Mark always pushed me at practices and held me accountable for my efforts. Mark had high expectations for me and taught me to accept only the best from myself. By the time I graduated I'm sure he was sick of my antics, flirtiness and drama, but even still, he allowed me to return to the pool and coach for him. Ultimately, I owe my entire coaching career to Mark because of the things he has taught me and his belief in my abilities.
To me, this list presents an interesting trend.
All of these people have been a teacher or coach of mine, and almost none of the qualities I mentioned have anything to do with the particular sport or skill they were "hired" to teach me.
I think this is the reason I'm so emotionally attached to my job as a coach.
Aside from my parents (to whom I could address an entire blog post) these people are the ones that have helped me grow and discover myself. They have consoled me in times of sadness, offered scarily honest advice, pushed me harder than I would have ever pushed myself, seen the best in me, reprimanded me, accepted my worst qualities, and BELIEVED in my potential.
I would be a fool not to recognize these individuals' contributions to my deep desire to affect the kids I coach now like they have affected me. It makes a difference for a child to know that somebody believes in them. It makes a difference when you show genuine care and concern. It makes a difference to listen with love. I owe it to those who have taught me, I want to be that difference.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
37
That's right folks, it's been a year since I posted. I could write 37 posts trying to express how much has changed in that year, but I think instead I'm going to make things more interesting and try to sum it up in 37 words, kind of like those little blurbs we used to submit as our "senior farewell" for the yearbook in high school. So here it goes:
Bear Lake longneck MCHS swimming CVMarlins DARTH Homework-Robot Big Blue 117 hours NO sleep monster Believe designali.com statesman huntsman megamind @allieburn @karliefitz snowflake house SB2012 dasneyland matchell/josh motherfather STAKE photshoots netflix thesis BFA 2002-2010 brunette GRADUATED SLC.
Done. boo. yah.
I think i'm going to be posting more regularly now, since I have actually caught myself thinking in "blogger"recently. Or maybe that's just how I think. So is the pensive life of a college grad...pff.
Bear Lake longneck MCHS swimming CVMarlins DARTH Homework-Robot Big Blue 117 hours NO sleep monster Believe designali.com statesman huntsman megamind @allieburn @karliefitz snowflake house SB2012 dasneyland matchell/josh motherfather STAKE photshoots netflix thesis BFA 2002-2010 brunette GRADUATED SLC.
Done. boo. yah.
I think i'm going to be posting more regularly now, since I have actually caught myself thinking in "blogger"recently. Or maybe that's just how I think. So is the pensive life of a college grad...pff.
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